The Storm…
The best part of any day.
What a crazy notion that the best part of my day has been… the thought of him. The memories. Faint. Time strained and worn are still the best thing I have. The warmest thing in my house other than tea. The happiest thing I have including my Disney mini mouse ears… it’s so odd that my heart isn’t dead, it’s just running on embers. Ready to spark into flames again. Am I in love with him? Or the idea of being in love? Does he arouse the stormy passions of my dreams? Why? What has he done to me or for me that he reminds me of a tropical storm. Outpouring of emotion here today gone tomorrow. Desperately craved by the cracked earth. When he’s gone it smells like rain and the plants can grow. When he’s here my world is full of storms and fury and passion and growling. Yet it is good. I sit in my shelter, watch and enjoy. I don’t need a man to be the sun in my sky. I need him to be the rain. The next step in my growth… something to pray to the gods for and for deliverance from. A natural part of life as normal as breathing. Not to be deified. Just loved. The sound, the smell the taste the feel on your skin, the smile you have when you see it from a position of safety. The ability to overcome you, a force of nature that is benevolent and powerful. Gentle and forceful. Formidable and playful. Everyday occurrence with a hint of the majestic. This is love. Everyday and majestic. The heart must beat. The soul must sing. All 5 senses… all the time. Don’t get me wrong it’s not al hearts and flowers.it’s not all singing in the rain and dancing through the storm. Sometimes it’s thunder and lightning and you are being hit by lightning.., not once. But over and over again.,, whilst you don’t die, you are holding your hands up praying to Thor and Odin for deliverance. Praying to Zeus for him to send his wrath the other way. Praying that the storm will pass. Or at least for you to stop shaking with cold and wet. When you think in the aftermath that you’ll die of hypothermia, from hurt words or missing actions. When you are relieved to be out of the rain and with your own family and friends. When you are bored of being cold and wet and just want to be warm and comfortable. Not on the edge of both exhilaration and exhaustion. When a life worth living means a cortisol level that isn’t godly at times. Adventures are not always positive. Sometimes you get lost.., for no reason. Sometimes you get eaten by a bear. Sometimes you don’t make it home… wild love is exactly that. Wild. You can control neither the highs nor the lows. And if you can handle that. The. I heartily recommend. See the world in full colour for once
Rock the storms, climb the mountains and ford the rivers. It will be hard and don’t struggle for nothing. But know that you will have experienced all life has to offer. And live it well, carry yourself well and love it well.
Grace and Courage
Annetta Mother-Smith