Men are great
Just watched some old Netflix. Designated survivor. It really made me think. Again this is one of my random thoughts but bear with me.
So in the scene the Capitol Building had been blown up, and there were fire crews and FBI agents etc… all digging through the rubble in the search for survivors… and they found one!
You kind of normalise that only women can show tenderness, I know this is only a TV show, but the gentle way that survivor was lowered onto a stretcher by some big strong dudes and patched up by a male medical team… he was well looked after. And you can see that when men look after people with the purest motive… to protect… to shelter… to be strong that masculinity and maleness is actually, great. Amazing really.
I wanted to say that because often we are bashing men, often women are giving men stick for the patriarchy… but most men aren’t the patriarchy. The patriarchy affects and oppresses men too.
I listened to a right wing podcast on Youtube talking about dating and relationships. Where 5%-20% of men are having the majority of the sex up to 80% the “Hugh Heffners” of this world if you like. However the other 80% are scrambling for the other 20% of women and of sex. these “Alpha males” screw everyone over. They’re (apparently) rarely monogamous, and so in women they breed a false sense of hope in terms of what they can get. Because what a man will sleep with and what a man will marry are 2 different things. Why women haven’t as a gender understood this I don’t really know. It pisses me off whenever someone holds up some exceptional case saying “my parents met on a one night stand 45 years ago and are still married” That is an exception that proves the rule.
What I believe about the patriarchy is as follows. We are all multifaceted. We all evolve and grow. If you believe those 2 statements the rest will make sense to you.
If according to RENT the theatre production, there are 525,600 minutes in the year. Then we all, at some point to varying degrees, prop up the patriarchy in that time.
We also all fight the patriarchy to varying degrees during that time. It’s a sliding scale. A feminist might be trying to fight it 67% of the time consciously and then propping it up 5% unconsciously.
A misogynist may prop it up 35% of the time, but also 2% be fighting against it.
But that’s only taking 1 year into account. As if our whole lives are 1 year long. But over time our views change, soften or sometimes harden. I can’t say this is internalised misogyny when I say this.
I believe that the patriarchy is built for the “Hugh Hefner’s” of this world. Or the Prince Williams. The problem is… most guys aren’t prince William. They don’t have seemingly unlimited resources to provide for these women financially. That is the hareem mentality. And even if they can, they haven’t got the bandwidth to provide for these women.
Basically we don’t have in reality of the modern world the ability for men to be polyamorous. People like to play games but what people completely forget is that standards have risen… dramatically and people are less likely to compartmentalise their lives. Because we’re all “Multifaceted" now.
Another thing these “crazy right wingers” taught me was about intersectionality. As a black woman I have both the experiences of a woman, and a black person. So on a daily basis I get the privilege of dealing with both sexism and misogyny if my day goes bad (this is incredibly rare, or at least I brush it off. I like to believe the best in people.)
But something that was pointed out to me was that being a straight white male is an intersectionality too. Not just the base standard.
So a straight white male will deal with
straight people problems (celibacy and the trash dating world, or how utterly hard being in a relationship, marriage or divorce is.)
White people problems (the slow motion car wreck of them becoming marginalised in their own country, and having to apologise to EVERYONE for bad shit they had no control over that their ancestors did. Having their culture going from the one that influences everyone to the one influenced by every possible fad)
And male problems (lower qualifications than women, working dangerous/manual jobs for low pay. Low testosterone, low mental health, body image, impotence when asserting authority in an increasingly hostile world towards the gender they were born in)
The problem with humans today is we assume because people can now change their gender (and according to the internet, their age and race too (I swear down those people are pranking us)) that if you choose to live in the gender, race and age your were biologically born into that you chose that and that you can be blamed for it.
Society and feminism have blamed straight white males for everything since the original sin, yet these people were born into something, not everyone is a freedom fighter, and that is okay. As long as you aren’t actively nasty to your own species, then I’m sure you are fine. I want to normalise people saying men are great. Straight white males are great. I love watching them in moments of tenderness. My bully is a dick but when he talks of his daughters, something bigger than himself comes out (I call that thing God) Men who have been incredibly cruel and racist all their lives still cradle a newborn with the same tenderness as a righteous feminist. In that moment of tenderness you can’t tell their political beliefs and you know what? All we have is the here and now, so if you see a misogynist and they are being kind and tender towards another human being, soften your stance on them, give them that moment of tenderness.
If you see a feminist trampling on the rights of men, correct them, and go about your life in peace.
Because…
Men are great… All men are great. They may not be great all the time, but hell, neither are women so go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
Grace and Courage.
Annetta Mother Smith.