Millennial burnout

No one I know who is a Millennial is happy about that status. Our mental health is truly and utterly crap. Everyone is stressed and anxious. Fed up of working long hours and taking abusive behaviour in the workplace that we wouldn’t tolerate in a personal relationship. Everyone is trying to get out of the rat race. We often loose sight of it but that was the invention of the side-hustle. Working 2 jobs or 1.5 to buy yourself freedom, freedom to spend time with your family, freedom to travel to do the things we actually value. Not what we are told to value.

So what happens when our generation wakes up? Realises that I-phones don’t make us happy. I made a hilarious purchase of a newer I-phone in December, just before Christmas. Only to go on an unplanned social media detox from January.

I’m already seeing it. All my friends have side hustles. Everyone has a long term plan to get themselves out of the situation they are in. Everyone wants to work less hours. So what next?

We are lucky that we get these thoughts. We are blessed that we have the privilege to think about self actualisation because it means our basic needs are covered. However, whilst we are thinking it we need a re-adjustment process. We can’t have it all. We either get money, or family. Bankers all end up divorced because they work 20 hours a day. Bill Gates is divorced, as is Bezos. I’m divorced because in part because I was so focussed on providing a good life for those I love, I didn’t communicate why I was doing what I was doing and that if they valued my time instead they could have that. So for me, chasing money is a no. I like to be comfortable, but I will not sacrifice my mental health for another employer. I got stuck in that rut, of every time an employer said “I wish to consume you, I want you mixed up in all my self imposed drama,” I supported them, rather than walk away, and only after I’d taken a beating did I leave.

Never again. I’m studying to get myself a side hustle with the aim of making the side hustle the main hustle and spending as much time as possible with my husband and kids. That way I can live the life I’ve always wanted and live in my version of success. But first I need to let some things go.

I’m not doing it all by myself. The problem with my past marriage was I felt I was doing it all myself. I was to provide and plan the home. Nope. I will not be the main earner in the family. That will be my husband. Its his job to provide and my job to create a loving stable family life. We are, a team. I cannot stress that point enough.

Next I value family. I want 3-4 children because that is what I value. I don’t value having tonnes of money with no one to share it with. I bet that with a big family I will be so busy minding my own business that I will not have time to be negative, to compare or be catty or sarcastic. I know that having a big family will enable me to be the person who I am meant to be, a wife and a mother. Someone who empowers those that I love.

 I value having a stable marriage, and a loving home. I also recognise that marriage (unlike last time) is not the answer to my problems, that answer comes from me. Marriage is instead the start of a new type of adventure with my husband, its not the peak of the mountain, its actually the base of Everest. We will learn and grow together for the rest of our lives.

Finally I don’t value peoples opinions, hence why social media had to go. If I’m looking for external validation, that’s a problem that will lead to burnout. I value love and peace and my mental health I need to create more of it in my life. That’s the only way I can avoid millennial burnout and I hope that brings perspective as to how you can avoid it too.

Grace and Courage.

Annetta Mother-Smith.