I am not a feminist

Sorry ladies. I’m bailing.

I’m not a feminist. I seek truth and justice for all. However you gal’s have gone too far and now you are robbing me. Robbing me of true choice. Robbing me of my voice to go against the grain.

The truth is, I desire nothing more than to be a wife and a mother. Nothing else. I will work to provide for my family, however I am no career woman. I do believe that a man is there to take care of a woman and part of that is financial. Why? Because men as of right now are not primary care givers, and therefore will not suffer the negative career aspects of having 2 masters. Work and family. Men don’t take maternity leave, and whilst shared paternity leave is a beautiful thing, it is a relatively modern concept. We haven’t done the “40 year studies”

In the medieval times when infant and maternal mortality was high, men did in fact do 50% of the childcare, they couldn’t help it. It was a necessity. The act of providing 3 square meals a day was enough work for a small army, but if your woman was pregnant every year between 14-40 and she was in a house with 12 small children, you were going to do your part. It wasn’t a job, it was a vocation. Motherhood has always been a vocation.

But worst of all, feminism has robbed me of the kind of man I want to marry. An actual male. We have demonised alpha male characteristics, we have also sexualised them to the extreme. Therefore Alpha males now see themselves as sexual beings and not human beings. They don’t want to marry. Because women are having “recreational sex” (all sex should be recreational) in the name of empowerment.

Casual sex is the least empowering thing you can think of. What the hell is the empowerment of giving as many men as possible the ability to penetrate you? Please explain because I’m deeply confused. And the root of the word “empowerment” is the word “Power” and if you are empowered, you will exercise that power over someone. However, spreading your legs for men only feeds into the stupid narrative that “your pussy has power” which brings about stupid notions that if you give a man sex before he has earnt it (via marriage) that you are healing him by satisfying him. Why doesn’t he heal you? Do dicks have power to heal women? No? didn’t think so. That’s not equality.

Then we have the “toxic notion” of feminism that women can do it all. Maybe we can. But the point is we SHOULD NOT. If we do, then what is the point of men? Are we making redundant 3.4 billion males? If so be careful, we’re in the middle of a over population crisis on this earth. You start telling women they are better than men then there is only a matter of time before a “Female Hitler” encourages mass extermination of the “useless men” which in doing so we could bring global population to sustainable levels. Thus curing the climate crisis, and bringing about a “Lesbos style utopia.” Sound extreme? Sure now, but so did Aryanism a made up race in the 1930’s to begin with. Then we got Hitler.

We need to tone down the “girls are better than boys “ rhetoric all the way down to 0. Why? Because you wouldn’t dare tell our grandfathers that they are less important than our grandmothers. Its only ever spoken about or to men who have hurt us. Therefore it is a pain reflex, a way of protecting ourselves from our own inferiority complex. But it isn’t helping us. It is hurting us. Because by negating the positive contribution of men, we are losing out on diverse opinions of 50% of the world’s population. That’s a lot of diversity. Not all of their opinions are good, but they are valid.

So if Feminism isn’t the answer what is? Truth and Justice and Meritocracy. There are some roles where women are naturally adept. These are often nurturing roles, such as nursery teacher. There are some roles that men are naturally adept. Such as engineer. It doesn’t mean that women can’t be engineers and men can’t be nursery school teachers. We should judge both roles as vital to society and accept difference as productive and healthy. That doesn’t mean equal pay between a nursery teacher and an engineer. But it does mean equal pay between a male nursery teacher and a female one. That is justice.

Next we need to acknowledge that there are 2 types of people within each gender.

There are Alpha males and Beta males. There are also Alpha Females and Beta Females. The truth is that Alpha males need Beta females to balance them out. The other truth is that Alpha females need beta males to balance them out. However what Feminism has done is assumed that every woman is a Alpha female. A woman who wants to take charge and do it all. But we aren’t all alphas, in either sex. So now we’re turning alpha males into betas because we are beating them with the stick of feminism. Telling them that their natural instincts are unnatural and perverted. They are unnatural…to a Beta female. An Alpha female feels threatened by alpha males, (and vice versa) because as my grandfather would say. “2 captains cannot run one ship” So we have used historic injustices to beat our sons and brothers with as if they personally committed them. The thing is, misogyny will always exist as will racism, however if the person in front of you isn’t showing racist/misogynist characteristics, we need to let them be. We need to stop trying to manipulate men and punish them for their father’s and grandfathers sins. The truth is, not all men are bad and if they are bad it is because they were socialised badly by their parents and society. They can only take responsibility for their current choices.

Principals of equality are all well and good, but the truth is, life isn’t fair. The distribution of labour is not fair and it is unfairly put on the WOMAN! So why are we looking for more problems? Before, women provided a stable home for their families. They created and carried life within them, they loved and nurtured that life whether a husband or children and they did that until they DIED. A man can retire from his job but a woman can’t retire from loving and nurturing and she has to do that every moment of everyday in order to be successful. Meanwhile a man does 8-12 hours labour then did the manly share of the chores.

Now in telling women that they can do it all we have bred profoundly lazy men. I remember that when I was married my ex husband complained to the marriage counsellor that I made him do “errands” i.e. if I was cooking and I needed something, I’d ask him to go get it. Or if he was home first and we needed something, I expected him to go get it rather than for me to come home and tell him we needed it and me go get it. As if this man did not eat in my household. I was expected to do literally everything. And he had the audacity to complain about the little he did do. What’s worse is when I got rid of him I realised how little he did for me, aside from the odd errand he’d put the bins out every week, occasionally tidy the living room and rarely wash up (never on his own) I realised I didn’t need him because I was one of those hyper vigilant women who was already doing the most.

Please remember that I’m not asking for us to go back to the days when a woman was dependant on a man. It is neither healthy nor desirable. I am however fed up of being spoken for by alpha women who are threatened by men and wanting everyone to see everything their way.

We need to individualise ourselves and understand nuance and personality are more important than dogmatic ideology of any kind.

Grace and courage.

Annetta Mother Smith.