Hey guys, I think we messed up here!

The words I need the established church to say. “Hey guys. I think we messed up here!” Why? They are so far down the road to destruction, only an unequivocal “mea culpa” can get them out of this mess. What is the mess? That young people don’t go to church.

I was at a Mother’s day service. I was the 3rd youngest person there. 2 children saved me from being the youngest. They were there to see their grandma. I’m 30. In a church of 40 people I should have been something like the 20th youngest person there not the 3rd.

A family that prays together, stays together. That’s what my parents taught me. Yet in the church family we have “stratified” everyone, so the generations don’t mix. THIS IS HARMFUL!!! Church is one of the few places that the generations mix. You don’t see 80 year olds at work unless you work in adult services, you don’t see kids at work unless you work with children. We don’t socialise with other generations and that is harmful. We can’t humanise other people if we don’t get to know them.

I have always wanted to take my kids to church. I want to teach them how to pray. I want them to have the wonderful knowledge that they were beautifully and lovingly made. The way I personally get that is from my God.

The story today was that of the lost sheep. I consider myself a lost sheep. I have to learn to forgive my relationship with the church (I lived through immense cruelty at times which I’ll write about later) before I can go back. Only through healing can I go back. I know I’m not healed. But there sure won’t be a church to go to if they don’t stop discouraging young people. If you passively say “they don’t want to come” you need to acknowledge your own issues within that mindset. No one owes you attendance.

 You need to row back on all the hurtful things you’ve said to BAME/Women/Gay community and stop offending people by telling them they are not enough. You need to stop acting like its 1699 and that you have the moral high ground. You need to pull ego out of it and you need to wrap your arms around your community, you need to do that now. Before church is only a place you go to be buried.

What ticked me off was that on Mother’s day, they had a separate service for children. Why?? What sense does that make? Have you ever been at a family gathering where grandparents go off and eat in their rooms (if they are not incapacitated) because they want to have a “normal” dinner? What could be more apt than everyone pulling together on Mother’s day? If you can’t tolerate children for 1 hour of your week then you are not a Christian and we need to stop mollycoddling you by telling you that you are. We’re not helping you.

So I’m here to help the church by telling them the hard truths. Ego needs to be left at the door. It’s an organisation run by old men…for old women??? Honestly, I thought I was attending a over 60’s singles event. 4 men, 3 in leadership roles, the other had Down’s Syndrome but the majority of the congregation is female. And over 60, why is that??? No more post church gossip. No more judging people for their socio-economic status (how did we forget Jesus was a sofa surfer???) and you need to do more to encourage young men and women as they bring families. Especially young women. I have only once seen a single man bring his kids to church, and he was a widower. For the most part, its women. So start serving mothers. Use those considerable resources to heal wounds in all communities who feel judged by all the nasty things you’ve said. Whenever there is a topic such as gay/reproductive/civil rights to consider… If you have nothing Jesus-like to say. Don’t say anything at all, and I really mean that.

Remember all the love Jesus actually taught, such as “For God so loved the world” “Life and Life in all its fullness” “Love is faithful, love is kind, love does not keep a history of wrongs” live that life in your community and the churches will be packed to the rafters.

We often forget that the word Christian isn’t a noun. Its not the name of a place or a thing. Nor is it an adjective, something that describes. It is in fact a verb. A doing word. Its not I am a Christian, it’s “I Christian” because the word Christian literally means “Follower of Christ”. So by saying “I Christian,” it’s the shorthand of saying “I follow Christ” because it is only by our actions, not our words do we follow Christ.

Grace and Courage.

Annetta Mother-Smith.