Withdrawal of consent
Why am I not allowed to withdraw my consent to something?
My ex used to hate when I’d withdraw consent, with deeply unpleasant consequences. My workplace has done similar and same thing with my neighbour.
Picture it. I own a random piece of land opposite my house. When I was married it was left to grow wild because we didn’t have a gardner. I’d asked around, but no one had any names. Recently my neighbours employed a gardner and I asked for his number, he was in fact the original gardner who would tend to that patch of land before we moved in. So I have employed him to do my font porch, back garden and my random land patch. Thus keeping my outdoor areas decent and my neighbours minding their own business… except they’re not doing that.
We all have one by the way. If you don’t have a crazy neighbour, then you are the crazy neighbour. The person who you cross the street rather than talk to. My crazy neighbour is what can best be described as “idleness in the extreme” she lost her business in the pandemic and even before that she was semi retired. So she’s made my land (which is next door to her house) her personal pet project. Planting daffodils and telling me afterwards, putting plant boxes down and telling me afterwards like I don’t live directly across the street and work from home where she could ask permission if she wanted to doll it up. But I said, it means nothing to me and everything to her. So let her.
She then entered my patch of land into a local beauty competition…and told me afterwards… Bitch crossed the line. I let it go.
The competition is next Friday. My gardner was due to come back this week on his monthly rounds…But bitch told him to come on Friday to do the patch of grass only because she wanted it to be nice for the competition… But is sending me the bill.
I don’t consent to that. Its rude and disrespectful. She’s had abundant opportunity to speak to me, she hasn’t so she went behind my back and commissioned work in my name. I wanted to withdraw my consent and her entry into the competition but I didn’t want to upset my mum who has begged for peace. I will strongly remonstrate the damn gardener (I know he’s afraid of her bless him, we all are) this hatchet case woman went about sweeping 4 buildings away from her property because clearly she’d told the neighbours on the other side of the road to me to do it and when they refused she’s taken matters into her own hands. Which again is rude, and passive aggressive. At least by watching her demonstrate her crazy I felt that it wasn’t just me she was behaving badly towards. She’d tried telling the business opposite me not to park on my land when I’d given specific consent. Thankfully they ignored her. She harasses anyone and everyone because she’s idle. We’re all afraid of her. If the gardner hadn’t told me about the competition judge date being next week I would have known from the increase in hatchet case movement. But it did mean I couldn’t leave my house through the front door today. I had to sneak out when she was talking to random strangers. Why? Because I’m royally pissed at her, she was sneaky and that has cost me money and she didn’t have the decency to speak to me despite being neighbours. As a result I followed the old adage “if you have nothing Christian to say, don’t say anything at all” But I personally withdraw my consent to any and all future projects. I’m not paying for her crazy.
It brings me onto a wider point. Consent is fluid thing. I remember seeing a video of a celebrity make an excellent point about consent. I am paraphrasing but this is what she said. “If I’m laying naked in a bed with a dude and I say I don’t want sex just before he’s about to go in… that means no sex” Consent, is a point in time action. And can be withdrawn at any time. I believe. Other people don’t. My workplace:
I suggested a really great idea for my colleagues, it was positively revolutionary and required a lot of trust on my part for my colleagues. Everyone loved it… then began behaving in shady ways. I withdrew my consent and said I’m not doing that as a reaction to their behaviour. One person got really rude and started shouting at me, trying to force me to go back and do it. I have filed a grievance agaisnt that person. No one is forcing me to do shit. But it took 8 weeks of souls searching and killing “I don’t want anyone to get into trouble” attitude that meant that other people come before myself. Its part of the self love journey. I love myself and as a result. If you cross the line there will be consequences. I’m letting this one go, for my mother’s sake. However there will be no further idleness on my land. Nor will there be idleness in my workplace. Nor will I be coerced into sex (rape) by any grown-boy. I don’t have sex with children. And if you throw a tantrum about it, it proves you are a toddler… and people who have sex with toddlers are evil. Real men only need apply to the position of my husband. Salary- a lifetime of joy, growth, prosperity, peace, health and healthy children. Contract is only terminated on death.
But remember I will withdraw my consent to your bullshit at any time and pull the rug out from under you. You will sleep in the cold and I will watch you do it.
Grace and Courage
Annetta Mother Smith.