The wait…

I’ve been living in “the wait” the last 2 weeks of my life have been chasing people around the place. Its been hard. Its been really hard. But I am currently living in “the gap” between hell and earth. Purgatory I believe its called. Very costly. Mainly to my mental health. But God’s time is the right time right? Trying to preserve my mental health, coming across mentally stable, come across as a professional. All whilst trying to tell/show my mum that I’m “okay” why? I want my mum to think I’m okay because she’s struggling with my dad’s 1 year anniversary. I want to give her peace.

Anyway. Its so weird being me, I don’t make decisions on my own life. People make them for me. I have literally had an email from work to re-enforce this point. Literally, just raised my blood pressure. I feel bad for people, but not so bad that I would be that I will allow people to crap on me. The latest scandal has meant that I have taken a stand to keep my dignity. Its really hard. But now I have peace.

Update…

I got what I wanted in the end. Which I needed to because I really was loosing my belief in true love. It brought me no joy, only relief.

Grace and Courage.

Annetta Mother Smith