Privilege

Last week I bore witness to a phenomenal amount of arrogance. I had to train up a member of staff and was given a full week to do it. I couldn’t stand him. I thought I wouldn’t mind, but I do. I hated having his arrogance, privilege and laziness rubbed in my face.

I as it turns out am an autocrat. I am not willing to hear new ideas I am not open to be gainsaid. Obedience or you do it.  

Obedience was not what I got at all. Constant subversion and open preference for my senior manager.  Constant whining, constantly refusing to do tasks and hit the ground running. I wanted the best for him. One of the things I have learnt in this decade is not to want good things for people more than they want for themselves.

This man doesn’t want to do good things, he wants to blame me for the next 6 months and talk about his “far from ideal” induction.

Let’s be clear.

He had a 1 week induction. I took him to get his security badge, I wrote him process notes I ensured he had all access, he had everything by the time I left. The only thing that was not ideal was… we had to share a laptop.

But he doesn’t have any tasks. The only tasks that he had he refused to do.

Introductory meetings? Didn’t write his own introduction letters and had someone else (me) organise his introduction meetings.

Compulsory training? Won’t do it despite this week being really busy then running straight into a hugely busy period.

Basic tasks? Nope.

On the process notes- he was far more interested in double checking my work, and arguing WHY he should have to do things.

This really irritated me, really really irritated me, because he’s already hugely slow to learn things. Visibly so. He is almost painfully slow. Actually scratch the “almost” he is painfully slow. And he’s slow as to the why, what this means.

He’s obstinate and subversive. He has no respect for me for many reasons, (woman, black, young, etc…) he does like my Senior Manager. Because he is a straight white man who is within a couple of years of each other. They are age mates…So he plans to play my boss and his manager off against each other, but also blame me for the next 6 months. That is his plan. Its so obvious its painful. I hate that.

I who have also had to do so much more with so much less and I felt furious. I had been castigated because I was the incumbent. Now they’re going to realise how bad a choice they made. Its not for me to make you love me but you will feel the loss of me. But I really do feel personally insulted that to spite my competence my boss and Senior Manager decided to spite themselves by picking the most basic man. I want to talk about his laziness. The laziness is crazy when you are this obstinate. Being a “nice guy” when you are obstinate and subversive can’t be a thing. You have to pick a struggle.

Arrogance of personal hygiene. I don’t have to brush my teeth to be out in public. First time since the pandemic I have had to deal with such dereliction of personal hygiene, there are very few people I have ever had to deal with that were dirty and how I would know he didn’t brush his teeth was that it wasn’t a daily thing. He wasn’t like this everyday, it was only when he didn’t brush his teeth. People are going  to be begging for those working from home days…

Arrogance of tasks. A man who has walked into the door and has decided he knows how to do inductions better than the me, who has been a line manager most of my career.

Privilege of status, this is a man who has been given so much, repeatedly threw everyone’s best efforts in my face specifically throwing me under the bus like it was my responsibility to get him a laptop. As he enjoys pointing out I am not his line manager.

The whole thing made my blood boil and bled into my weekend and even my Monday and for that… I will not forgive.

Grace and Courage.

Annetta Mother Smith.