Men are great- part 2

I am grateful for the separation between reality and the internet. If the internet were to be believed then 50% of the world’s poplulation are the scum of the earth, which are sex obsessed, and have no depth to them. The truth is refreshingly different. Interacting with men my age, is a revalation. Men my age are responsible, kind, considerate and masculine. Manners maketh man. Men are no longer “rough at the edges” they are far more paletable. But they are still… incredibly masculine. In a way that the internet can’t capture because you miss so much. I’m not talking about romantic relationshops. The men I am describing are my colleagues. They are all 30 and above and they are actual adults. In stable relationships, able to hold down life… with interests and careers and jokes. How masculinity reveals itself is far more subtle. One man, saw I was ill, so offered to bring breakfast to our next meeting (I regret refusing, he brought cinnamon buns, I fucked up) The CEO takes time to talk to people despite being introverted. He remembers key facts because that’s a key quality of leadership. He’s vulnerable when it is true, and doesn’t hide his assertions. He cares, he really cares. Men my age are men in their prime. Pre-frontal cortex is mature and you are actually talking to a man. Its a lot of fun. as a result I can laugh, knowing I am not speaking to a disgusting sniveling little boy who is preoccupied with my breasts. Because I’m not worried if they are actively disgusting, I get to enjoy their personalities, who is gentle, who is assertive, who is straight talking who is passionate. Masculinity has many levels and masks, but all of them are masculine. And I have trust issues, working in an office makes me realise how broken I am. But I give myself hope. These men being masculine allow me to be feminine, allow me to stop being so “fight or flight” and think strategically, which is where I am at my best. Being at my best gives me a level of safety I don’t have normally, my cortisol levels I hope are dropping, as a result of having healthy role models on what a man is. Remember this is their “work persona” which is different to their home ones. I’m not saying any of these men are perfect spouses and aren’t toxic, but I am saying that they’re old enough to hide their shit under the carpet for 8 hours so I can enjoy being at work.

I want to thank them for it. I have so enjoyed my first 3 weeks because I have had good women, and healthy men at my side. When you see what normal looks like, you wonder why the hell you were dealing with the toxic wasteland which were the first 28 years of my life.

thanks Guys.

Grace and Courage.

Annetta Mother Smith