I no fit take your insult oh
Check out the first 40 seconds of Burna Boy’s song “Last last” for those who don’t speak Creole, “I no fit take your insult oh” means “I’m unworthy of your insults/your insult is unjustified” which is a current vibe. I’m unworthy of my family’s insult. It was my birthday YESTERDAY. My mum decided to put it on the family group chat today. So… a flood of messages of people who should know better. These are not distant relatives. These are my immediate family, the siblings of my mother. My blood aunts and uncles. My mum is a twin. Her brother only has one niece from his twin sister. You’d think I would be special enough to warrant a “Happy Birthday” text from him. Nope. He doesn’t even have my number.
My dad didn’t die this year therefore I didn’t warrant a happy birthday message from my grandma. Savage but true. Even when my dad did die she still got the date wrong. She thought it was the 23rd of September… it’s not. It’s the 22nd. It was also my 30th birthday. Do you think she forgot my eldest cousins birthday? Or my cousin’s birthday who is 3 months younger than me? No. But when my dad died and she was meant to be exercising her duty of care on me….failed. Boo, God don’t sleep and I don’t forget. It hurt she couldn’t even be there for me when she was meant to. The point of the blog post is not to rehash past wrongs… my family don’t remember me. I had to famously “buy” my way into the family group chat (cost £250) which I have a much stronger blood claim than some people on there, but they are included and I’m not. Whatever… the point is I decided I am not responding to anyone who got my birthday wrong. Hold your L. I’m not here to make you feel better about screwing up. The only reason you are calling my phone is because you are afraid my mum will put her own family on blast again like she did when no one called me after my dad died. No one is ambiguous about my mother’s position as family rebel. But the fear of her was insufficient for people to get the date correct. Not my problem. The hilarious thing is that I know all the people who forgot’s birthday. Let’s play a game. I’m going to write down the names and birthdays of the people blowing up my phone today. Then we’ll go on Facebook to see if I actually know their birthdays. At least it will either put me in my place or call me justified. Because I’m holding myself to the same standards as everyone else. Accountability says I keep this up even if I don’t get any right! Then maybe I’ll have less smoke for my family.
Aunt Beatrice 29th January wrong 24th January (clearly confused her with my aunt Maggie)
Cousin Williams (aunt Beatrice’s eldest daughter) 18th October correct. Originally put my ex husband’s birthday because it was always murky. Williams was born the day my dad arrived in the U.K., my ex was born the day dad left Freetown.
Cousin Ore- aunt Beatrice’s younger daughter 2nd February correct.
Aunt Waltina(and uncle Walter) 5th March wrong 2nd March (that was my second guess)
Cousin Dontina 30th December. (Aunt Waltina’s daughter) correct
Cousin Donwalt (aunt Waltina’s second son)( I don’t actually know this one, I know it’s late November, because he was born the year my grandad passed, he was about 3 weeks old and it kind of got eclipsed if you know what I mean. I think he’s the 30th of November. 27th November which was a fair guess.
What is the lesson? Have less smoke for my family. I know I have a mum who will always remind me when I get the dates go wrong. Some of them I wrote them wrong knowing they were the correct dates. So I corrected them. But also, it proves I have the ability to find out the information with ease. Which removes both my excuse and the excuse of my family. They’re always on Facebook. There’s the group chat. Bearing in mind they didn’t call me when my dad died it’s their job to get this year right.
I’m still not making people feel better for their mistakes.
To quote the Burna Boy song
“Nothing to discuss oh…
Oh me? I’m an adult.
I no fit take your insult oh.”
Grace and Courage.
Annetta Mother Smith.