Be your own best friend.

I have long wondered why I do this. I am still finding that out so please bear with me.

But one of the reasons has got to be that I want to be my own best friend.

I am at time of writing, my own number one fan. Its not just because I haven’t published my website yet but also I have shared my writings with so few people that I am the first, the last the alpha and the omega in terms of the Annetta Mother Smith fan club.

The reason for this is that I re-read my own blog posts, there are circa 75 at time of writing and I laugh at my own jokes, at my wit, I give myself little hugs were some of them are sad and are written for self comfort, I feel my heart stir at the uplifting ones.

I really do love them all.

But what does that have to do with you? Well, because I have been my own best friend I am imploring you to be your own best friend too.

No one will love you like you. No one appreciates you like you. In a world where trust is a currency that is so rarely seen you need to have your own back. There is a place for community. Really there is. And that place is second place to self love. It is only by practicing self love, having strong self discipline and boundaries can you successfully navigate a world where everyone has an angle.

How else you decide how you want people to treat you if you don’t know yourself? For a long time I believed in the innate goodness of humanity, it has taken a jaded career full of evidence to the contrary that has taught me otherwise.

I have had friends let me down. I have had parents let me down. I have had community let me down. I’ve even let myself down all because I didn’t know how I wanted to be treated. I wasn’t clear.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lifelong journey. But I have taken the initial steps.

I have a lifecoach, shoutout to Steve.

Having been through a lot, and panicked a lot. I came to a place on Saturday night when I withdrew my objections to the only obvious choice. To leave yet another abusive relationship.

This time it was at work. Why? Because a boundary had been crossed and crossed too many times.

But only I could come to that decision, only I could do that for myself, no one else would give me a hug and pat my hair and tell me its okay. I had to do that for myself. As a result I have come to peace with it. That is the only way to live life, in peace.

Steve told me that I sounded extremely authentic when I came to my decision (read fed up) and as a result it was coming from the place of an inner leader.

This is not something we can teach, it is not something Youtube can give you. Only life can teach you, only life can punish your stupidity and reward your discretion. We learn as we go, and when we stop learning, we die.

I want to reach out and hug you, be there for you, and give you the support that I never had, I want to be there to listen to your stories, mentally dry your tears and pop your champagne bottles with you.

Ultimately why I write is so that no one else can become me, so that no one else can live through the pain I have lived through. I want you to live life to the fullest, no credit, you did it all by yourself. I just watched. Proud.

I hope wherever he is, my dad is watching.

Proud.

Grace and Courage.

Annetta Mother Smith.