Attack on Assumptions
You aren’t a good leader because you’re strong. You are a good leader because you know what it is to be weak.
Apparently truism come from every source. My current tv show is Attack on Titan. It’s all the tv I watch. I’m quite enjoying it. But it struck me as to why I am so driven by my vision for the world. Being that change is because I know what it is like to weak and therefore why I need to change the world. Until this quote I actually thought my purpose in life was to follow. To be a lady not a leader. Now I know that this lady must lead. This lady must create. But what is my niche? Most likely girls like me. Girls who would never. Ever. Show up on the system. Girls who people think are “fine” girls who think they’re strong. Girls who are either emotionally or physically carers for their parents. Girls most likely to face abuse and never tell a soul. Girls who meet every metric and tick every box. How do I reach them? How do I speak to those girls? How do I stop them becoming me? High achieving problems?
Therapy is one way. Absolutely. But I wouldn’t have told a soul my problems aged 16. Beautiful moments of care is another. My most fond memories of my childhood were someone taking special interest in me. Taking me out of myself. Theatre, travel, breaking down barriers, not adultifing my daughters. My beautiful black daughters. It’s easier than doing it for black boys. I am not, nor will I ever be. A black boy. So this is a refinement of “#foundmypurpose #prayforme. I’m about prevention. I want to see black girls thrive. Teaching healthy aspiration. Teaching them about “adulthood na scam”. Having a big sister that shows that the grass isn’t greener and money isn’t happiness. That our parents lives aren’t ours and we need to make healthy choices to live not just survive the generations curses. I have so much I can teach. I essentially don’t want these girls to end up in therapy. Or suicidal or married to abusers and as someone who has the trifecta if someone built trust in me over several years, took me out of myself and then taught me “a better way” rich isn’t happy. Husbands aren’t the key to happiness, live for your heart. Generational traumas, how to look out for them, how to identify yours. The story we tell ourselves and so much more… I would have been a different person. Made better decisions. May be a few friends. Sleepovers, safe spaces, an place for wisdom not wit. My goodness. There’s a place in this world to teach our daughters to raise better standards. Healthy relationships and what they look like. Positive black role models. I could go on and I damn well will.
Learning about vulnerability and how it is the ultimate source of strength. How it can build you. How girls can find camaraderie, and lean into healthy female friendships, talk about business, money, assert rights, stereotypes, when is the time to wear makeup, short skirts, etc… what to expect from relationships and when you should enter into them. My main purpose in life is to ensure others don’t become me. I have always known that. So why not make it happen??? Stop it at the beginning because I have seen the end. A sisterhood. The older ones, mentor the little ones, learn leadership young. They build sisterhood between themselves. These girls are already stars… let’s build a “new girls club” where they get to build the same relationships that get old boys a leg up.
Teach these girls Latin. Languages. An appreciation of the opera, theatre, art and culture, history, anime, sport, fine dining. Make them rounded individuals so they won’t be tempted by someone’s dusty son or dusty boss.
Give them an opportunity to truly thrive.
Why are we always after the bare minimum for our daughters. I want these girls to not only not be damaged individuals, but to soar. To see how high they go when we stop clipping their wings with the malnourishment of modern society.
Because I know what it could have done to me… I have to get this for others.
I know what it is like to be weak and I am not leaving anyone behind.
Grace and Courage
Annetta Mother Smith
In loving memories of Aunt Claudia John, Aunt Theresa Richards and sadly, Aunt Mary Richards. For never leaving me behind.