Bad day
Today was a bad day. My mum says I have “temper issues” why? Before 9am I nearly missed my early train, because I brought crotchet to London. Then was told not only that I couldn’t collect tickets from Waterloo that I had booked, but that it was my fault for “going online” meaning booking advance tickets to save money. I was also told to buy another ticket like my organisation had that kind of money. The tickets are from Hampshire to Lancashire. Quite literally cross country. I was fuming because it wasted 30 minutes to tell me essentially I was doing it wrong and there were no solutions… Then when I got to work, 30 minutes later than planned when I need that time… my laptop decided to break. Then I had to deal with that… then I forgot my travel card in my other bag at the cost of £19. But apparently I have temper issues because I demand that people give me grace as a customer rather than tell me it’s my fault for not doing something the same way they would. Or that technology work for me not against me. I resent the accusation that I have a temper, especially when I was growing up a decent reason to catch a beating was breathing wrong if mum’s/aunties had a bad day. Bearing in mind my mum studied, worked and ran a household. Therefore she had similar demands of life that it work in her favour not against her.
She is correct of course. I demand way more these days. Why? Because when you have a husband who won’t run and buy milk when there is none in the house you need the global community of mankind to pick up the slack. I’m more assertive now. I was in a restaurant today. They got my meal wrong. I didn’t start eating until they got it correct. I also got 3 waiters to look into it. I’m not dumb. I just want stuff done. Inflation is running at 10% if I am lucky enough to go to eat in a restaurant… you are getting my order correct. Before I would simply simper and be bitter. Now I get my damn rice order. Far healthier for me at least. But like I said. She is right. Publicly cussing out the ticket machine, my phone and the train company is not the way forward for “rich husband energy”😂 so here is to breath work and counting to 10 before beating my phone against the nearest hard surface. My phone is currently being raised in the manner of a 90’s child. Forever in fear of catching a beating from a strict incredibly stressed mother who doesn’t praise it when it works, but will immediately tell it when it is useless. Yet is incredibly attached. My future children will thank God I beat the phone and not them. I will have grown out of my “phone beating” and “inanimate object cussing” phase before getting pregnant.
But the point of this post isn’t to lament my bad temper. It’s actually one of hope. Of 4 incredibly stressful things can happen to me in one day… then 4 incredibly delightful things can also happen in a day. The 4 had a compound effect. I’m hoping my blessings compound too… to find me a good, kind, generous husband. Because that’s all I desire. My Prince Charming.
Hopefully Karma doesn’t count my sins against inanimate objects.
Grace and Courage.
Annetta Mother-Smith