Situationship
I have not been in a relationship since my divorce. I met a guy during Jubilee weekend who is genuinely attractive (abeit a bit shorter than I would like (different from being actually short) and is a nice person.
However, as I have stated many times… I am not a nice person. So nice people cannot hold my attention for long. My problem is he is mentally an adolescent, he’s fucking 37????
Why are guys so obsessed with sex? I find it deeply perturbing, it’s a borderline mania. A red flag he displayed is wanting “Lust” in a partner. My boo, you are 37 and losing your hair, how the hell is this lust to be reciprocated??? You are 37, which is still young (I can’t understand why people consider mid 30’s old. Yes, your metabolism has started to wane, but if you look after yourself you can still look great) and in deep need of loosing 20-30kgs. What I have learnt is you need to accept someone as they are now. If they gain 20kg you still need to be okay and hold the attraction…and I can’t. Women everywhere lie. No one wants a dad bod. Dad bodies is from a place of fear…He’s attractive to other females…lets bake him a cake so he’s so fat that only I’ll have him. Essentially “I broke him I bought him” theory. Women want Henry Cavill. Do you know how I know this? Because I want Henry Cavill! Joking! (partially) but the truth is whenever women have sex symbols the sex symbols all have 6 packs. Name 5 sex symbols for women in the past 20 years that aren’t ripped. NO? didn’t think so. Because what women want and what we settle for are wildly different. In the same way what men want and what they settle for are wildly different, but let’s walk away from the naivete that both sexes don’t value muscle tone and pleasing symmetrical features. As someone who married a man I wasn’t attracted to, I need the attraction as base point 1. But lust? You are mad. You think you are 15 years younger sexually than your body can handle. Lets say you get into bed with a spritely young 25 year old you lust over…Honey you are overweight and aging, how the hell are you keeping up? And what are you using to keep her interest in 5 years when the metabolism really starts to catch up with you? Shouldn’t you value genuine connection and deep love and respect? Men seem not to realise that they have “gone to seed” until it is too late. Stop playing games you can’t afford because its embarrassing. I feel for him, he’s a nice man, but as I have drummed into my skull recently, its not your job to pity men.
As I have also previously stated. I am in an early stages of a relationship where I am not playing the woman in the relationship. I am the man. That’s just not an energy I can sustain. I am glorious, beautiful, interesting, and interested, kind and loving. But male is not something I identify with.
Its nice to have someone to message in the evenings, its nice to have someone to talk to. However I don’t need to be desperate. My husband is coming, and this madness is like drinking cleaning fluids because you are thirsty, you know its bad for you, you’re not 100% sure that it will kill you straight away, but if you keep chugging, you will definitely die.
I’ve never dumped anyone before. I don’t consider my divorce dumping. It was a statement of fact. I am filing for divorce in the morning is the same kind of statement as I am going to Tesco in the morning. Simple and straightforward. I remember there was no emotion in that statement, there was no comeback. I just finally said the words on my heart.
We’ll talk about that horror show later.
Grace and Courage.
Annetta Mother Smith.