Opt out

Why don’t we opt out of things we don’t like?

Saw a controversial YouTube short this morning. It was about the Yanks and their abortion laws.

The opinion was, if the mother can “opt out of motherhood” i.e. have an abortion, and the father doesn’t get a say and isn’t shamed for it, why is it when the man “opts out” of his responsibilities as a father that we don’t show the same humanity? He was overwhelmed by the responsibilities, he was scared he was X or Y.

It’s a double standard because we can’t see the child suffering when the mum “opts out” but we can see the child suffering when the father does. So what is the standard that we should hold people to? No abortion or no abandonment?

For me I sit firmly on the fence, I don’t judge others for having them. I believe abortion is an extreme reaction to an extreme situation, e.g. aborting a child with severe disabilities that you know you can’t look after. If it’s a form of euthansia I understand. Having seen my father die, he fought cancer bravely, but if I could have spared him his final indignities I would have.

My views on both abortion and euthanasia are as follows, if you haven’t been put in that scenario, please don’t judge people who are in that scenario. Both have been going on for thousands of years, doesn’t make it right because the death penalty have been going on for thousands of years too, and I’m not into the whole “an eye for an eye” thing. I’d much prefer people to be locked up for the rest of their life. To think about what they did. But I digress.

If we are truly seeking happiness, why do we have to accept the principal that life is shit? That is the lie we are taught early. People tell you this so you can be consistently be sold for under your value. Life is hard so work late with no pay when someone dumps on you. Life is awful so you need to chose between heating and eating, life is wicked so when people are nasty to you, you have to accept it and turn the other cheek. Why? I’m opting out of this madness. Life is sweet. Life is filled with moments of joy, there are moments of averageness and moments of pain, but there is no need for us to deliberately inflict it on ourselves. Accept your value, love yourself (no one else will love you like you) I’m so bored of the narrative of “Life sucks get over it” it’s the same people that want me to accept their crusty sons when I know I deserve more.

But back to parenting. I believe unless it s a rape the father should get an equal say, after all, if she doesn’t get an abortion, he’s on the hook for £100,000 to raise the child, but he doesn’t get a chance to say if the child lives or dies, even as a “minority interest” he’s emotionally responsible for the rest of his life for the child, but doesn’t get a say as an opt out. Also. If a man states that he doesn’t want the child, before the child’s birth and the mother goes ahead why should the man pay for a child he doesn’t want?

Remember I am also always advocating that each party that doesn’t want to get pregnant should have their own contraception. Its like in a car accident, each person in the car is responsible for their own safety, if you want to die horribly, sure go ahead, don’t wear a seatbelt. If you value your life, you do wear a seatbelt. But if a man took reasonable precautions and wore a condom and the condom actually failed (0.01% chance but it does happen) He doesn’t want the child he took reasonable precautions, why should he be made to look after the child, pay for the child when “he did everything right?” I also believe women who manipulate men into getting pregnant should be made to look after the child alone, no financial support for the man and the man should be allowed to sue for rape. In the same way as when a man removes the condom halfway through is a rapist. If a woman lies about being on the pill…Rape. Women who target rich men to be their baby fathers should be seen as predatory in the same way as old men who like “barely legal girls” Children are serious and if you don’t give 100% full consent to having them then you shouldn’t be obligated to pay for a child, both financially or emotionally. It’s a hard topic, but I believe that men deserve some say because in abortion because if the child is then born and they leave they are seen as a cad or worse. But his wishes are not captured. His wishes should be separated from his weakness. If he doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions then tough, but if  he has never wanted children due to a deeply traumatic childhood and didn’t want to inflict his trauma on a child then that is a completely different issue.

We can’t have equality without including 50% of the population… the male half.

Grace and Courage.

Annetta Mother Smith.