Lifestyle coaches are ruining my life.
I love self improvement. I’m always trying to make myself better. I’ve been stuck in a bad mental place for a while.
I listen to a lot of wisdom. To my sisters, Mindset Mentor and School of Greatness to name a few.
But these people are almost always telling you what to do.
Please I’d love to see you walk a mile in my shoes, I really would.
Sometimes I pause them because I just think to myself, “please mind your business and stop judging me.”
That’s why I write about grace and courage. You need to give yourself grace in this life and you also need the courage to challenge when your boundaries are being crossed.
I hopefully won’t tell you what to do. I can suggest things, but hey, its your life.
I am also not a medically trained doctor or expert. I’m an accountant with a long history of lived experience with mental health problems. But in 2020 I had the first break in my mental health problems for years and I discovered what it meant to be joyful. 2021 despite my dad passing away, was also a year filled with moments of joy and peace. Extreme peace. I made moves to improve my life and I reaped the benefits. If I hadn’t made those moves I’d be dead by now. That’s not a dramatic statement, that is the truth. I worked 20 hour days, you can only do that for so long before your body says enough and you actually expire.
I want people to live life, and life in all its fullness. That’s John 10:10. I live for that. I want to see everyone succeed but success is different to everyone. When it comes to mental health, I say do what works for you. My only caveat is, learn the difference between pain and suffering.
Pain is natural and is a part of life. Pain is important because it teaches us things, it shows us where there is danger.
Suffering isn’t part of life, and don’t let anyone tell you it is. Suffering is 100% avoidable as it is all in your mind. You, holding onto pain for too long allows it to become suffering and only you can change that.
One place Lifestyle coaches are truly correct on is that you choose your life. You choose how people treat you. Don’t like that? Show up differently tomorrow. See if people treat you the same. I bet you they won’t. If you are normally a passive person. Come in with some serious BDE and be assertive. If you are normally assertive, let things slide tomorrow and see if people won’t treat you differently. Please don’t gaslight/Jekyll and Hyde people, that’s not kind. But everything in your life is a choice.
Fun fact about me. I’m the youngest of 3 children by my dad. He had 2 sons before me. And my brothers and I are as different as chalk and cheese. I’m very straightlaced and traditional. They are more streetwise.
My eldest brother in particular in the past dedicated himself to terrorising my dad. Asking for money well into his 40’s and constantly needing to be bailed out.
If you’ve seen my post on law of attraction, then you’ll know that in this life you get EXACTLY what you ask for. My dad, in my opinion, wanted to be able to say he tried to fix my eldest brother (henceforth called Alistair) he did not in fact want to fix his eldest son, because he was addicted to the stress that Alistair brought him. So in the end he was able to say that he tried, but not that he had actually succeeded.
This is a roundabout way of me using my own family as an example of the theory I will now state. I believe you are 100% completely responsible for your entire life aged 25. Yes you heard, if you are broke, its your fault, if you are fat, its your fault, if you are unhappy it is also your fault by 25.
It also means and I need to be explicit about this, at age 25, no matter what your parents did to you, you have to stop blaming them, because if you are still unhappy at 25, it is because you personally are making yourself unhappy. Personal responsibility is the first step to self development. And you can’t grown or heal whilst blaming your parents for your life. So grow up, own your life and start enjoying it. That’s an order!
Grace and Courage.
Annetta Mother-Smith.