Atrophy
That gentle decay and decline we’re all so addicted to talking about. Why is it that we are all in our peak and our prime and the slightest ache/pain we need to exaggerate? Like nothing hurt in our 20’s? When I was in my late teens/early 20’s I would blame knee pain on having bad knees. My mum always complains about her knees. But she has always been overweight and so now I believe that it is because of that. Which means that my knee pain too was due to lack of exercise. Now I’m 30, I do more exercise daily and dance whenever I can. Yesterday I danced around my house until 2am. Yet this morning…as if nothing had happened to my legs, my knees or anything. The truth is our bodies are amazing. And God preserving us, most millennials will make it to 90+ which means that 30 is not 1/3 of the way through. So why are we complaining?
The truth is we are all trying to hurry through life’s stages and not enjoying the one we’re in now. When I worked for Sainsbury’s my old boss was around the same age as I am now and running MARATHONS. Was he complaining of his knees at the time? No not once. People far older than me run marathons. I start a new job next week and one of the things I have promised myself is gym membership as well as the job. Why? Because I plan to be young at heart until my heart gives out.
My dad had strong genes. My grandmother worked until only a few weeks before she died. My dad, when he wanted to retire, I rejected the idea, believing work is good for him. Not for everyone. Just him. But I’m glad he got to rest. Being a priest is hard work. Emotional hard work and he deserved a break.
But it really annoys me when people my age start to talk about 30’s like its the approach of a terminal disease. I was in Kew gardens with a friend and her friends at the weekend. And one of them is exactly my age. She started talking about how much harder it is to loose weight in your 30’s. It is a genteel way of making small talk and bonding, mutual complaining… I smiled and commented on my own recent weight loss. Because I don’t agree with her sentiments and I was actually trying to make her uncomfortable because I find bonding over complaining about problems that either don’t exist or you made yourself the height of idleness, I want to challenge her thinking. That’s right. Challenge the status quo. Nope. I reject you Satan. People are obsessed with getting old and feeling old. Your body changes, it absolutely does, you just need to work out what its new needs are and cater to them. Also, it may be hard to loose the weight but not impossible. People loose weight all the time. So don’t be content with “oh I’m 30, I’m over the hill, therefore I can’t loose weight” what is your 75 year old self going to say to that? That they are effectively comatose because the decline got really bad after 30?
This nonsense stems from when our grandparents/great grandparents did actual, physical labour in the industrial revolution (and slavery if you are me) they worked incredibly hard, and therefore natural wear and tear was a lot greater, because they worked in dangerous/intensive industries. Therefore when they said they were getting aches and pains at 30, know that they had been working in factories/fields since 11. Their decendents have been working on a laptop indoors in an air conditioned office since 22 but yet we’re trying to emulate people with ACTUAL PROBLEMS. But our ancestors also retired at 50/55 so 30’s was genuinely middle of the road. AND THEY DIED AT 60. We’re all, God willing going to live into our 90’s/100’s and in far better health, with far more co-morbidities than they ever did. Cancer killed you quickly back in the day. Now, you may have years if they catch it early.
The way people have been warning me about my 30’s… Why don’t I just dig a grave and die? Everyone says that you start to get “aches and pains” and at work you are and “experienced hire” which means people don’t tolerate mistakes, and in love you are “over the hill” according to Kevin Samuels (Who died alone???) time is ticking and apparently we all loose all value and worth after 40 so you need to make fast, gun to head decisions on your life. Wrong. This nonsense is all in your mind and it shows we’re all still kids trying to play at adulting, trying to be like “Mum and Dad.” Grow up, experience the world for yourself. If you feel like you are decaying. Up your exercise and down your rubbish food content.
Everyone wants to be “fat and happy” in their 30’s. which if you look at the first word in that sentence it is “fat” people want to “settle down” the first word in that sentence is “Settle” don’t get me wrong, I did not enjoy the constant strife of my 20’s, the low self esteem, the no money… yet it made me who I am today. Someone who is still striving for excellence. Someone who is body beautiful(to me). Someone who is loved, Someone who will love. Someone who does not settle. There is nothing wrong with me. No horrific changes have occurred from 29-30, nor will they going into 31. Will I ages slowly everyday? Yes. Will my preferences change? Also yes? I am an early morning person, so evening parties I have never enjoyed, too much thinking about getting the last train home to actually relax. Also, my body has never liked late nights. So the fact that in my 30’s I simply listen to my body’s natural preferences more is simply me growing in wisdom…not age. I could have learnt this stuff in my 20’s… but in my early and mid 20’s I didn’t go anywhere so there was no opportunity!
What I want the take away from this to be is that you are as old as you feel and I feel 22. So all your bitching and moaning about how old you are at 30 when we have icons like Beyonce, J-Lo and Madonna doing incredible fieghts whilst being old enough in J-Lo and Madonna’s case to be my mother i don’t know. They all also have children. They pushed life into the world multiple times and yet they look better than you, they will live longer than you and they will enjoy more than you. Why? They focus on what their bodies can do, not what they can’t.
Enjoy your atrophy, bitches. They’ll be hauling my 150 year old ass out of the gym in a body bag... And I’ll still look better than you do now.
Grace and Courage
Annetta Mother Smith.