40 year studies.
Modern life moves so fast we forget that we haven’t done the “40 year studies” as to how this will all pan out. I say this as a science enthusiast and someone who reflects on what is good for us and what is not.
Take mobile phones. We don’t know what the blue lights are doing to our sleep pattern long term. We don’t know what social media is doing to us long term. What if it really is the new smoking?
Next we have social media influencers. These people have only just started making a living out of this and the people who are making a living have been doing this for years. But will it be around in 10 years? 20? We say these people are successful, but the only way you can judge success truly is when a person has died. For as long as there is life unfortunate circumstances are only around the corner. But when the person has passed on you can judge if they had everything they wanted. We have kids who want to be influencers, with no idea of how much work it will be and no idea if that career will be available to them by the time they grow up. We assume time will wait for us. Loved ones will wait for us. As someone who some of my last words to my dad were “wait for me, I’m coming in the morning” I can tell you that no one gets waited for.
We make permeant decisions based on people who should be temporary. If you are a presence in my life, you should know that I have weighed very carefully what relationship I want to have with you, how its going to play out and how far I trust your judgement. People call me reserved. I call me prudent. You don’t get a tattoo because your new bestie is getting one. You get one because you believe authentically that it is the right decision for you. No other reason is valid.
That’s why taking a 40 year view on life is important. Not a 5 year view, a 40 year view. I should say at this point I’m 30 years old at time of writing and 40 years is longer than I have actually lived on this earth. That’s why its important. Will I remember the people who have done me wrong in 40 years? Hopefully not, hopefully I’ll have moved on and let that shit go. However, will I remember the happy times in my life? The time a child blew bubbles from her car window? That I hope I remember for the rest of my life. 40 years plus. I hope I remember the positivity, not the negativity. I hope I remember all the things I value, not the things I don’t have or didn’t buy. By taking a long view of your life you can think about whether or not you are getting yourself closer to the person you have always wanted to be or further.
A small point of digression here. Think about the person you want to be, meditate on that. How old are they? What do they look like? Do they look like you now? What is there relationship with the things that hurt them? Do they have vices? What is their base state? How much money do they have? Do they value money or time or people? How much do they have of the things they actually value? Write it down. Then make that your reality. The most important thing that not a lot of people say is that it has to be 100% driven by you. What do you actually want? Not what you are told to want, what you are expected to want, what do you actually want? Work tirelessly towards your version of success and you will live a life that you are proud of. Something authentically you and when you close your eyes in death, you will at least be authentic. And when you think back 40 years, you’ll have said you started today.
Grace and Courage.
Annetta Mother-Smith.